American Martial Arts Movies We Thought Rocked But Are So Bad

I recently revisited the trailer for cheese-fest American kung-fu movie Blind Fury. I used to love that film when I was a kid . Unfortunately, unlike a fine wine, Blind Fury did not age well. Its best to have those Fury memories stored in the back of your mind so that way you’ll always think it was a great film, and you’re able to fight anyone (to the death, blindfolded) who questions otherwise….but if we’re to be honest then Blind Fury wasn’t very good at all, ok its good, but for all the wrong reasons.

So the Blind Fury trailer got me thinking about other cheese-fests from the same era, and the first one that immediately popped into my head was none other than China O’Brien. Seriously, be prepared for some laughing because this trailer tops them all.

 

China O’Brien (Cynthia Rothrock) sounds like an unstoppable half Asian, half Irish killing machine. Trailer pretty much gives away the whole movie, but it’s not like you’ll be adding it to the watch-list for some serious viewing. China and her group of ass-kicking friends decide to take down the scum of her hometown after her father is murdered Fight choreography ain’t the best, but back in the day, she was a force to be reckoned with, sharing her martial-arts status with the likes of JCVD or Jackie Chan.

 

I couldnt find a trailer for China O’Brien 2 so I will just post a fight scene. One thing it is missing is the epic American trailer voice-over, which multiplied the bad-assery of any trailer by 1000’s.

Also, we can’t forget American Ninja, the 1985 martial-arts movie that starred Michael Dudikoff. The ancient Samurai tradition goes back 1000’s of years, and the deadliest killing machine just so happens to be an American soldier who is more bad-ass than a thousand Asian ninjas…I would like to call bullshit right there!

 

Then we got this gem released a few years after American Ninja –  American Ninja 2: Confrontation 

 

No Retreat No Surrender 1+2.

No Retreat No Surrender fits perfectly into this category, although I wasn’t a fan of the first (or barely remember it) one, I watched the 2nd instalment countless times when I was a kid…man, it was so bad.

The first film was one of JCVD’s first…he plays a Russian martial-arts champion, a killing machine that no one can stop – until an American steps in and threatens his title. JCVD doesn’t say much in the movie, and I am guessing that’s because he probably has about 3 words of English (JCVD got into Hollywood by waiting outside a restaurant where a big exec producer was eating, when the EP left the restaurant, JCVD went up to him and performed one of his roundhouse kicks, stopping his foot inches away from the EP’s face – a star was born right there and then)

And now for the second one……..No Retreat No Surrender 2: Raging Thunder. I just had a sneak peak of the trailer, and the kung-fu memories all started to flowing back. I felt like Neo from the Matrix, remembering all the moves that I used to know as a kid.

Cynthia Rothrock is also in this one, and I had no idea.

This time the bad-asses refuse to do any sort retreating or surrendering in Thailand

Thanks For Reading (use the moves that you learnt from these trailers, to save lives or fight crime – the choice is yours)

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