Rebooting a film as iconic as The Crow for a new generation was always going to be a tall order.
The death of Brandon Lee on the set of the 1994 cult classic ensured it became a tragic Hollywood legend which perfectly dovetailed with its dark tone, gothic settling and morose subject matter.
For years, rumour had it that the next iteration would be more in line with the graphic novel the original was based on.
The likes of Mark Whalberg, Jason Momoa, James McEvoy and Luke Evans had all been attached to star in The Crow with names such as Steven Norrington and Corin Hardy set to direct. But all were unable to will their versions over the line.
After what seemed like an eternity in development hell, director Rupert Sanders and star Bill Skarsgard finally get the job done only for the world at large to realise that the franchise was better off laid to rest.
As much as I feared the worst, I like to hope for the best. But when I saw the first promotional images, like everyone else, I got strong Jared Leto Joker vibes and the trailer failed to stir any excitement in me.
The basic setup should need no real explanation: Eric Draven & Shelly Webster are tragically slain and Eric returns from the dead, guided by a mysterious crow to exact retribution on their killers. A light on plot revenge story with a supernatural twist. Easy peasy.
The main difference this time around is that we get to spend half an hour with our doomed lovers before they die, in an effort to earn the empathy of the audience. There’s nothing wrong with a new take but it’s puzzling to waste time on unnecessary lore, and ropey subplots and then shoehorn in a falling-in-love montage between 2 characters who, up til then have failed to wring any chemistry from the fatally flat dialogue.
It might be unfair to measure The Crow remake against the original but I can think of few films that deserve it more than this. The 1994 version was set in a highly stylised, monotone gothic urban hellscape, the villains were easily identifiable and oozed charisma and it had a banging soundtrack used to great effect. All of this served to really capture an atmosphere. It hasn’t exactly aged well but it remains a fascinating time capsule of 90’s subculture.
All of that essence has been drained from the remake: the setting is drab and nondescript. You could maybe pick 2 of the many bad guys out of a lineup. And the soundtrack is reduced to moody, ill-fitting needle drops while Bill Skarsgard swaggers about from one scene to the next like Richard Ashcroft in the video for Bittersweet Symphony.
Brandon Lee’s portrayal of the character chewed the scenery while picking off the bad guys. As dark and poetic as it was, it still belied an Eric Draven who loved life, indicated by his flashes of wit and tenderness in his scenes with Sarah and Albrecht.
Usually, reliable Bill Skarsgard’s take on Eric has all the nuance and likability of Hayden Christensen’s, Anakin Skywalker. He’s endured trauma, apparently. He takes drugs to numb the pain. When he kills people he feels the emotional pain. Even though he has the rehealing “power of a god” he still feels the physical pain. Pain to the max. Without any contrast, it gets painful to watch.
The fight choreography is decent but feels almost video-gamey. This is especially the case in the third act where he takes out waves of unmemorable enemies on a staircase that either loops or the dead bodies disappear, at a theatre full of people who can’t hear the hundreds of gunshots going off just outside.
It’s full of questionable choices from the editorial right down to hair & wardrobe. All the small problems mount up rapidly when nobody takes steps to course correct.
It’s staggering to watch this and know that during the shoot, every day someone at Lionsgate was watching dailies and still signing cheques, thinking “That’ll do”.
No question though, the main failing is how badly they’ve mishandled their protagonist. When the title character you’re supposed to be rooting for looks like the Jared Leto Joker & acts like Anakin Skywalker, 2 of the most widely derided characters in recent times, you’re obviously in real trouble.
You can’t help but wonder what audience The Crow was remade for? The bullseye on the Venn diagram of people who like emo, mumblecore rap, face tattoos, techno, oxycontin, gory violence, revenge fantasies AND tragic romances must be tiny. It clearly wasn’t for fans of the original and will only enrage the die-hards. Sadly, it’s inferior to its predecessor in every quantifiable way.
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